I have recently started working on a new short e-book, Living Unveiled. And I admit to trying to avoid it. It’s taking me into some uncomfortable places in my childhood, places of pain and abuse. Funny, I think writing it is helping me live unveiled. Or at least more unveiled. Essentially, its about how we live in hiding, keeping ourselves behind masks or veils to protect us, when God means for us to live fully. And you can’t live to the full when you’re hiding.
On a completely different note, Apple’s autocomplete really needs some work. It is causing me some serious frustration. Combining words I don’t want combined into the most interesting concoctions. Like julliard. And iaejstt. Ok, that last one isn’t true.
So, I’m sitting here at Starbucks planning to watch calculus lectures from MIT instead. Because I have to have time to breathe. To write this out, even without all the gory details, is taking my breath like a hard run. Its not even like I don’t talk about it. I have boldly told practical strangers about my childhood abuse and subsequent mental issues. Depression, fear, anxiety, possible homicidal thoughts. But this book could go out to the world. Can I unveil that much?
i guess I don’t like that I am still hiding in some ways. I have hid for years and I am tired of it. Tired of the front to get people to like me, when I am not really the person they like. I’m even finding that my voice is lost as I write, because what if they don’t like my brash, in-your-face self. And I try to write all poetic like Ann Voskamp but it doesn’t work. So, I know I have some re-writing to do and I’m avoiding it. With calculus.